Unsplash: Jon Tyson

If you’ve been reading my newsletter for a while, you know I’ve been an avid reader of The New York Times “Modern Love” column since its debut in 2004. I frequently share Modern Love essays in my classes and in 2020, I interviewed five authors about how-to-crack the column. Writer and editor, Melanie Bishop, was one of the authors I featured in that roundup. Her piece, “I Would Have Driven Her Anywhere” has stayed with me.

Since hearts are essentially everywhere this time of year, I thought I’d revisit Melanie’s piece in this newsletter and get a behind-the-scenes look at the process she went through from draft to publication:

AP: The Honda serves as a beautiful vehicle for your storytelling in this piece. Was that always obvious to you—that you would center the story, to some degree, around that vehicle?
MB: Nothing was obvious to me. I had written a 50-page, braided essay about my mother, titled “Final Instructions for Princesses.” One of the braided threads was about the old Honda my mom and I had shared. After getting a few rejection letters from literary magazines, I hired a gifted editor, writer Dawn Raffel, to help me cut it down to a more publishable length. In her comments she said, “This story about you, your mom, and the old Honda wants very much to be its own essay.” EUREKA! I went in and plucked out every single paragraph about the Honda, then plopped them into a new Word doc. I moved sentences and paragraphs around, wrote an opening and a closing, and voila, I had an essay that seemed like a contender for Modern Love.

An important side note: This is why I frequently tell writers to find a great critique group or at least a good reviewer. Other readers can often help you find your way with a story when the path isn’t clear to you from the outset.

AP: There are so many brilliant details in your essay—the Boost cap, the hidden cash, the contract between you and your mother. I’d love to hear more about how you landed on these specific details … and how details in general are key to good storytelling.
MB: Details are everything. Details are what makes a story YOUR story. Often writers feel the details of what they’re writing about their lives aren’t important, or that they’re not that unique or compelling. BUT THEY ARE. Everyone’s individual details are unique. Of course we have to be selective over which details matter to the story and which aren’t worthy of being included. In the case of my essay, the color of the Honda didn’t matter, as evidenced by the fact that Illustrator Brian Rea rendered it blue. It was actually white. But it just does not matter. What did matter in that essay were details like the car being passed down from my mother to me; and the Boost cap landing under the passenger seat; the contract in the glove compartment; the emergency brake, the timing belt. Most details that are worthy of inclusion end up working in the piece on more than one level.

AP: What was the editing process like for you? How long before you received a “yes!” and how long from the “yes” to publication?
MB: After Dawn Raffel sparked that idea to make the Honda material its own essay, editing was quite minimal. I probably did it in under an hour. Then I submitted it on September 1st, 2018 and got the acceptance email on October 26th, and it appeared three weeks later, on Nov. 18th.

AP: The competition for Modern Love is stiff. What advice do you have for writers who want to submit an essay?
MB: Study the column. Make a habit of reading it weekly, and if you’re new to the column, go back and read the early essays. Read both books by Modern Love Editor Dan Jones—the anthology of Modern Love essays and Love Illuminated. Read the tips from Dan Jones, which originally appeared on the column’s FB page, and have since been compiled into a google doc. It’s incredibly generous of Jones to offer up these numerous detailed tips. Take advantage of all the helpful advice. Print it out. Read it and reread it. It’s rare for editors to offer so much about what they are and are not looking for, and what does and does not get their attention, and his advice helps you avoid sending him something that he’s already stated he does not want.

AP: Tell me a little bit about how you work with writers?
MB: I come from a college teaching background so that informs my work as a freelance editor. What I used to do for my college students, I now do for clients. So that includes instruction when it’s needed; reading recommendations for both inspiration and models; exercises aimed at helping a writer learn certain elements, like sensory description or how to write a scene; line editing of a draft-in-progress; developmental editing; and a general overview of a story, essay, novel, memoir, or screenplay. I don’t do much in the way of typical “coaching,” but I do see myself as an advocate for my clients and typically offer equal parts encouragement/praise and helpful critique/suggestions for revision.

STUDENT CLIP

Some of you know I launched a TLS Challenge a few years ago. I’m thrilled to report that yet another member of that little group, Jessica Wozinsky Fleming, snagged a spot with a beautiful TLS just before the Christmas holiday.

A favorite line: “My boys may not always have one-on-one time with me, but they always have each other.”

PRO ADVICE
“The definition of writer’s block: being too impatient to waste time writing badly. You have to write badly to write well. And you have to sit with the bad writing and write more of it and then sit with that until eventually you start writing well. As my old friend Ron Carlson says, ‘Whatever you do, stay in the room.’ Writer’s block isn’t a lack of something to say. It’s a lack of patience with figuring out how to say it. So stay in the room. Write badly. It is productive. You just might not know it yet.” – Dan Jones