Recently, the American Society of Journalists asked me to run a “Snack Chat” about essay writing as part of their annual (now virtual) conference. Since many of the attendees have heard me riff about essays before, I decided to go off script this time and dissect a former student’s essay. Her name: Nikki Campo. Of course, now Nikki has become a good friend and she is a trooper for letting me shine a light on her work in this format.

The reason for the share: Nikki’s essay is an excellent example of great character development. We get a real sense of the characters in her story — as well as herself as a character. What’s more, these carefully crafted depictions of the people in her life also serve to advance the story. They invite the reader in to her reality.

So here’s her marked up essay!

Spinning Stories
In addition to her crafty way of building tangible characters, perhaps my favorite thing about Nikki’s essay is that she spun it into another story — one that, if I’m honest, I think I like even better than the Washington Post essay because it’s so tight and poignant — so tight, in fact, I’m pasting it below:

July 7, 2020
Key Ring Chronicles

Knotted Ribbon

by Nikki Campo

Shortly after my husband and I moved to Charlotte from Chicago, I made a trip back to Illinois to help my dad go through my mom’s things. In the basement, I found a bag of her old sewing supplies: a half-finished Christmas stocking, a tomato-shaped pin cushion, a tape measure, pinking shears, and reams upon reams of ribbon.
Looking through the bag, I pictured my mom at her sewing table in the family room. She made doll clothes and kitchen curtains while my sister and I watched TV on our bellies. I can still hear the whir of pulled thread and the hum of the pedal-operated motor. We knew when she was at work on something important by the way she pressed a straight pin between her lips.
I clipped a section of light pink ribbon from my mom’s sewing bag and tied it to my key ring. Pink because I was pregnant with a little girl — a little girl my mom would never meet. A little girl my mom would probably remind, if she could, as she had reminded me for 34 years, to breathe.
For years, I grabbed my keys, saw the ribbon, and took a conscious breath. It’s an odd thing, to voluntarily cue grief. Did I really need a reminder that my mom was gone?
But in time, the ribbon started to do its real job: It reminded me that actually, I had never lost her. She’s in these hands sticking out of my sleeves that are learning their way around a needle and thread. She’s in the laughter that comes from my daughter, who’s now six. She’s even there at her sewing table — now in my dining room — nudging me to breathe on my way out the door.
***

Building Character
A great exercise for every essay writer: Practice writing character sketches of the most important people in your life. Until recently, I only did this exercise as part of an essay already in progress. So, when I was writing about my hummingbird-stalking tendencies, I wrote a character sketch of my dad. And when I penned an essay about my husband’s toy garage, I sketched out my husband’s unique personality traits.
I’ve done character sketches for ex boyfriends and for the neighbor who molested me when I was a child. But I haven’t tried the exercise for the all of the important recurring characters in my life — and more important, I haven’t done a character sketch of myself.
Want to try it with me? Craft a character sketch of yourself — just three to four sentences. Use Nikki’s character sketches for inspiration if you like. The goal: To SHOW the reader who you really are and what you’re about with just a few quick sentences. If you share your sketch with me, and my unbiased sister selects your sketch, you’ll win a free critique or admission into my next basic or alumni class. Your choice!